Jan 222015
 
As some of you know, I’m separated from my wife of over two decades and preparing to divorce.  At first I couldn’t even think of getting involved with someone else, but after a year of not seeing or hearing from your ex, well, those inhibitions tend to dissolve.  I really do miss the company of others, especially the fairer sex.

A former coworker and longtime friend recommended I try Match.com, a site she swore had worked for her.  I was leery; I’d seen too many online-instigated romances fizzle or even explode.  But she ultimately convinced me and I created an account.

At first I kept it simple, with a sparse profile and only one head shot, and the results were commensurate: just a few views here and there, with no real engagement.  But when I finally resolved to get serious, and fleshed the profile out a bit more, the Likes started rolling in.  Success!

Well, sort of.  Let me tally up the results for you:

  • One transgender person
  • Two gay men
  • Several temporary accounts
  • Numerous women who really don’t match
  • Way too many flakes and gold-diggers

Now, I have nothing against guys who like other guys or even guys who become girls; that’s their business and more power to them.  We could all be friends in other contexts.  But they’re not my choice for dating, which leaves me with those last three bullets.

Sigh.

So far, the few women I’ve found interesting don’t appear to return the sentiment.  Fair enough: it has worked both ways.  It’s doubly exasperating, though, when even Match thinks I’m a good fit for someone uninterested.  That leads me to conclude something that almost makes me give up: if Match and I find me 97% compatible with someone, and she rejects that, then the failure likely comes down to physical appearance.

Ouch.

I have mirrors at home, so I’m not completely delusional.  I know that in appearance I’m no real prize, and I can (begrudgingly) accept this.  But one always holds out hope for that nearsighted or inebriated profile browser.

Seriously, would YOU date this?  I didn't think so.

Seriously, would YOU date this? I didn’t think so.

When I expressed frustration on Facebook, another friend recommended OK Cupid.  So I gave that service a shot as well, and was even more disappointed by even more of those bottom three bullet items.  So many ladies looking for a discrete hookup or sugar daddy.  I’m too wary of the former and too poor for the latter.

Everyone offers encouragement and says hang in there, but I dunno.  At 53 I know precisely what I want and don’t really have the patience to date around until I find someone who can put up with me.  So in theory online matching sites should be ideal: enter some personal data, upload some soft-light photos, and wait for Probability to work.

Just gotta overcome that Romance Uncertainty Principle…

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